Decisions, Dilemma & Ironies . . . .

The time is almost up where the decision has to be made . . .

do i take up the challenge and leave the comfy surroundings once more?
what do i hope to achieve over there which i still have no idea . . . or rather what can i achieve over there? The term to serve over there is not short but then its not long . . do i look just at the monetary gains or do i look for something else but that. But what really is that something else i am looking for?? Will i get the best of both worlds (which i hardly think is possible). .

but what will i be missing here? or rather what will i miss here? do i stay where i am, or do i move on? this uncertainty looms at every turn we take, do we seize or do we resist?


I used to think i will not work for money but something else, the biggest irony of them all . . .
The " i work to live and not live to work" idea is becoming so entrangled that we can no longer keep a clear distinction which is which . . . very true are the words of "you gain some, you lose some" . . . .

i'll end the note here . . still wondering which paths to take . . . .


RT

Thots about life so far . . . . .

Its been 6 months since my last post
alot of things had happened in a way or two for the past half a year . . .

i have been overseas for 3 months where new ideas and people have presented themselves infront of me . . . kinda makes me wonder what it would take for me to say " i have lived my life this once . . . "

this made me remembered a quote i heard from a movie:

" Our Deepest Fear is not that we are inadequate. Our Deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about Shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine as children do. Its not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others . . . "

So have we been hiding behind this darkness or have we been in the light?
I see people leading a life from 8-5 each day, which i myself have been leading so far as well.
It makes me wonder if this is life in a nutshell, how can we make our lives truly worth living.
I mean after all, you don't take a shot at LIFE again . .



I recently helped my neighbour who was a fraile old man up the stairs . . .
how much of a pale comparison of him now and him 10 years ago . . .
It just dawned on me how severely we had taken time for granted as thou time was infinte . . .
So how have we really spend our time? We have to adopt this time is not limited mindset . . . otherwise we'll all just let our life wither away unconciously. . .

Another thing about life is its unexpectancies ...
for example, my dept just went through a round of manpower restructuring where i was thrown into a new environment, new scope, new responsibilities . . come monday, i would be operating in a totally new environment with all the same people . . . and with the current situation who knows what changes can happen?

Seems like the only constant thing in the world is ~ " Change", there is nothing that won't change over time, everything changes, people, surroundings, situations, experiences . . so how do we deal with change?
Resist or embrace?

wow, thats some heavy stuff we have there . . but i do hope whoever gets to read this has made u stop in your track and think about LIFE, TIME & CHANGE

1st Month in Shanghai.

Wow, how time flies, its been a month since i have left the comfy of my home in Singapore to be stationed here in Shanghai, China.

As per last entry, guess u all know that i am here for a 3 month job attachment here.
So please, drop me a msg on my msn, my email, my facebook etc as i am already using a china mobile line here. Roaming charges are too darn expensive, if you need my china HP number please PM me and i'll send you my number.


initially i still had some reservations about coming here, now i don't think i want to go back that early, haha. I have tasted some fabulous food here and some food that i tot i would not have never tried if i am back in singapore. What will i do if i cant get it back in singapore which i do think it might be the case . . super disappointed already . . . LoLz

i have gotten used to the weather here, wonder will i melt when i return to singapore, lolz.

Still haven gotten anything yet but i already am compiling a shopping list, hee :)
btw, can anyone tell me if i can bring a remote control helicopter back into singapore.

well just to update some of the stuff that happened to me in during my stint here in CTCN, Shanghai up till now . . .

1) Attend a regional workshop with my boss here in CTCN, Shanghai


2) ate like a pig almost for every meal


3) Bought a wireless router for the apartment, think i will get one back to singapore


4) Bought a pair of gloves if the temperature do get too cold


5) Been to the 东方之珠 but only outside, think i will go inside for a tour


6) Been to 外滩 (浦西）overlooking the 东方之珠.


7) Been to 城隍庙 &　豫园　two occassion, one to accompany my amercian colleagues and another time with my CTSG colleagues.

8) I tried brinjal for the very first time . . haha, and man did it taste good the way it was prepared here in Shanghai . . . .

9) beer almost every nite, geez but i still hate the taste of beer, give me a screwdriver, haha.

10) Took their MRT for the very time yesterday.

11) Walked around non-stop for almost 5 hours non-stop without sitting down . . wahhh !!!

12) bought alot of DVD here in Shanghai, almost one a day . . lolz, too bad cannot bring back SG

13) How to slash prices with the local shops as well as a principle to abid by:

" there is no lowest price of the item, only the lowest price you feel its worth" (-_-'')

14) Washing my own clothes . . . not that i dont do it in singapore, i just dont do it on a regular basis . . .


oh ya, i just placed an order for a new model, talk about suffering from recession, LOLz, see pic below, its a VF-25S Alto Custom from Macross Frontier, wicked huh . . thinking of getting a Ozama Custom and a Micheal Unit . . LOLz. . .




Wish List??

1) I-touch?

2) I-phone?

3) Wireless Router?

4) More Clothings?

5) A New Jacket?

6) A tailor-made suit / pants / blazers?

7) More Sports apparrel / shoes / Bag . . . . with more stuff to add?

8) a trip to hangzhou to look for an ex-colleague??

haha, well all in all, only one comment to summarize -

" Can i stay longer " . . . LoLZ



PS: this is the link to my photo album in facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1942562&l=f17c5&id=625482006

till next time,

Raymond.

1st Week In Shanghai.

As the title suggests, i have been in Shanghai for about 1 week or so.
I will be here for a 3 month attachment, so anyone who wishes to ask me out, please leave your plans till mid may.

The first couple of days has literally been hell for me as i was recovering from a fever, compound with the the icy cold conditions, it hasn't been too pleasant.

Being given this apartment to stay in where i am the only occupant for the time being but i heard 2 more people from singapore is going to join me here. Finally some company to walk around with and makan with . . .

alot of commodities around here so food and daily necessities which aint much of problem for me, even their new magnetic high speed train is right infront of me, i think i will take it when i am leaving here to go back to singapore come this may.

but the weather hasn't been all that kind to me these few days, its cold, damm cold and it rained just now . . . actually wanted to walk across the street to have my dinner but due to the coldness, i changed my mind and bought some cup noodles downstairs and went back to my apartment straight.

I am really regreting not bring more warm cloths and i really wonder what drove me to bring T-shirts here anyway . . . . must be my fever . . lolz

Right now i am wear a t-shirt, my latest LFC jacket and my dow jacket which i bought for my korea trip 1 year ago if i were to ever step out of apartment.
Thank god i still brought that dow jacket along.


let me share a couple of "firsts" that i experience:

1) You have to pay for plastic bag.
2) I am doing my own laundry
3) And boy do their commercial last damm long . . haha.
4) chinese that i have problem understanding, communications etc of of different vocabs
5) waking up early to catch the bus, has been quite sometime since i woke up at 6 plus, hahaha.
6) Staring at large servings of meals . . feel so sorry that everytime i will surely have some left over . . . with this, how am i supposed to cut down on my weight?? Geez . . . .


taken some pics to share:



~ my room for the next 3 months



~ a view of the surrounding from my room.



~ Dinner on the first day . . .



~ Saturday's Breakfast . . . seriously how am i going to shed some pounds



~ My normal attire in my apartment . .



~ all equipped to go out now :D


i am looking forward to going around shanghai, maybe the nearby provinces as well for some visit, will post some pics the next time round . .


oh and one last thing i am relieved, they do telecast soccer matches . . especially EPL, and i even caught NBA All-stars weekend . . hahaha, not too bad.

Till later, Jya. . .

RT

Damm Good Song i got hooked on . .

Happy CNY folks . . hope u people enjoyed the holis, was pretty shock this year to recieve a new year SMS greeting from my secretary (kitty) all the way in my taiwan office. Wow thats a first for me :)

OK, i promise i will visit you in taiwan when i am there again. Hahaha.

Well its back to work and school for most of us . . but this week's tempo seems super slow . . think it will pick up next week i hope (^-^)v

ok, back to the topic, i recently heard a song on radio which simply got stuck in my head on constant replay mode. . . well enough of the blabbering, enjoy :)

Song Title: " Gotta Be Somebody"
Artist: Nickelback

Lyrics:

This time,
I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life, the one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing,
I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting, will play out like a scene
Straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holding my own breath, right up 'til the end
Until that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's Gotta Be Somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it all on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight
And dammit this feels too right, it's just like deja vu
Me standing here with you
So I'll be holding my own breath, could this be the end
Is it that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it all on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

You can't give up, looking for a diamond in the rough
You never know,when it shows up, make sure you're holding on
Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me, oh

Nobody wants to do it all on their own
And everyone wants to know they are not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there



Hope u liked the song as much as i did (^-^)

Charged Up and Pushing for the final lap.

Time sure flies, its like the end of the year already.
Looking back its been a roller coaster ride at work this year, but how much have i grown since then. From a total noob to the amount of stuff i have accquired till now.


Just came back from my year end trip from Bintan, Nirwana Garden.
There were many people who think that year end trip should always be nice and easy.
Just lay back and relax, stuff like that, but i do think its the time to try something different.
Guess i will always be the odd ball around :P

PS: i was watch james bond just now on channel five and the villian did make a good point.
"we only have 1 shot at life" . . kinda sets you thinking of what you have done huh?

ok, back to the trip, sorry about raving on and on coz its been a pinnacle of event in this year for me so bear with me a little.

Went tanah merah ferry terminal to catch the ferry to Bintan. Was quite lucky to be allocated to the 2nd ferry, more time to snooze. Reach there only to find our allocated room aint quite ready yet. Hence drop our bags, and headed for the first activity.

1st DAY

1st Up: Archery. Ok, i gotta be honest i suck at it big times, haha. And i thought i might have some robin hood in me but guess i was dead wrong about that, hee. Well i fired off about 20 arrows and man it was tiring, especially when arrows are not landing in the bull's eye.

Actually we wanted to sign up for a traditional fishing trip where we would witness the locals perform their traditional fishing technique but it seems all activities for the day was kind fully booked. Hence me and the guys took a stroll along the beach. Not exactly the most correct persons to be strolling the beach with (w/ 4 guys lor). After that we went for a sumptous lunch and man i was bloated.

After lunch, we were quite fortunate to find out that my room was ready whilst the rest still waited. Lucky, lucky :)

But its kinda strange to let the day slip by without doing anything, hence some of the guys decided to go to a local market called pasar oleh oleh to do some shopping. But there was a bit of disappointment when we reached there, i was expecting more life and buzziness@ the place but its was kinda quite and a bit shy of the idea i had in mind. Well eventually bought some snacks and coke.

We later had dinner @ the "Kelong" where we had like a 7 or 8 course dinner with lotsa beer to top it up. But i was suffering from a crazy headache after coming back from pasar oleh oleh, kinda sums up the day for me going to bed early after shower in prep for tomorrow's activities.


2nd Day:
The following day was jammed packed with activities. Me & the guys planned to go on a adventure trip followed with paintball session and to finish with a good massage.

Well the adventure trip proved to be a hell of an arduous journey. Especially when you just kept on climbing and climbing with no idea when is the end. But thats just the essence of climing huh, to reach the top. Tiring it was but to reach the top in 1 piece was certainly a best feeling to override all the tirness, dirtiness for the entire journey. Well all of us who took part completed the climb so i would say it was all good journy.

Next up was going down. Wasn't that much tiring but it sure was more dangerous that climbing up especially considering it was raining the day before. I slipped a couple of times, eventually i just tried to slide down slopes if possible, too tired to be standing up. Think i need more physical training when i get back home.

Last highlight of the day was upon completion of the desecend we stopped by this mini waterfall.
Upon reach it was off with the shirts and shoes and into the water fall, man it was chilling but it sure took some exhaustion away. The minute my butt touch the seat of bus sending us back to the resort, i completely knocked out and snooze till my friend woke me up when we got back to the resort.

Next up was paintball, no time for shower, just took a very quick lunch and rushed off for the paintball. Altogether 7 of us took part, 1 pulled out because he was too tired to go anywhere else, haha. I think i shot Nic & Muk most of the time. Alvin was lucky to escape my wrath because my own teammate was in my line of fire. Maybe i should have shot voon as well, haha. Since it was my original plan to shoot him but ended up grouping in the same team as him.
Hope he doesn't read of my post, :P

50 pellets were kinda used up pretty fast by me. Although i did got shot by some one on my pinky. Still trying to find out who that was, loL. Its personal the next time :)

Reach the resort and headed straight for the shower and not to forget a long soak in the tub of hot water. I must say, this soaking in hot water has really got on me. For every shower i was doing that, haha. Too bad cannot do in singapore, utilities bill will go up, haha.

Next up was massage after a hectic day of activities and i did enjoyed every minute of it . . . Nice, very nice :) After that me and the guys hanged out at the cafe with some tea and coffee, of course i had to go for my favourite ice mocha :) :)

Next Up was our company's "Sulzer Idol", hanged in the pub for awhile before rushing back to the room with some of the guys for the live EPL match, although the result didn't turn out quite the way we were hoping it was.

3rd Day:
Today was the last day, so me and couple of the guys planned our last activity of the day.
a day tour of the mangrove habitat over in bintan. It was quite an enjoyable with our guide cracking jokes all the time. Only down side was that i didn't managed to catch that much of the wildlife in the area, we were supposed to be seeing the monkeys, otters, snakes and birds. But we only managed to catch sight of the snakes and on many occasions as well. Guess we were that lucky. I heard the other guys who went a day earlier managed to catch the monkeys . . :(
Finally went back to singapore around 3pm(bintan timing, singapore would be 4pm). Eventually i reached home near 7pm.

Overall, it was a tiring but enjoyable time.
But maybe the next time i adopt a much slower pace approach.


Next Up till the end of the year:

1) Year end bonus
2) Taiwan trip, i'll be spending 1/1/09 in taiwan, hopefully i can catch the firework displays @ 101 plus meeting up with my taiwan colleagues over in taipei.
3) My attachement to Shanghai office :) :) :)

RT

Extract from "What Really Happened AT HT IN ISTANBUL" from Jamie Carragher

Just another soccer post, I read took this off Liverpool's website and decided to share this with all the fellow reds out there:


At half-time in the 2005 Champions League final in Istanbul, Jamie Carragher found himself staring into the abyss.

AC Milan had just produced a spell-binding 45 minutes of football to leave Liverpool trailing by three goals to nil. All hopes of winning a fifth European Cup had seemingly been extinguished as Carragher and his team-mates walked into the dressing room for Rafa Benitez's half-time team talk.

Here, in an exclusive extract from Carra: My Autobiography, Carragher talks for the first time about what exactly went on during that mythical 15 minutes and how Benitez's inspirational intervention helped change the course of football history.

"People ask what was going through my mind in those moments before half-time. As I walked towards the dressing room, I was suffering from a depressing combination of despondency and humiliation. I couldn't bear to lift my head up and glimpse the faces in the crowd, or the banners and red jerseys scattered around the Ataturk. I looked towards the floor and saw nothing but endless dejection. My dreams had turned to dust. I wasn't thinking about the game any more. My thoughts were with my family and friends. I was so sorry. Daft, seemingly trivial ideas scattered themselves across my mind, such as 'What will everyone at home be saying about this?' The thought of going home a laughing stock disturbed me. It would have felt like the whole city, the whole country, even the whole world was taking the mickey out of us. There was a sense of shame to go with my sorrow.

The Liverpool fans had taken over the stadium and there was nothing we could do to make amends. I almost began to regret reaching the final. All defeating Juve and Chelsea had achieved, it seemed, was to allow AC Milan to outclass us and possibly secure the greatest ever margin of victory in a European Cup final. They'd beaten Barcelona and Steaua Bucharest 4-0 in the 1994 and 1989 finals, and now I feared we'd create history for the wrong reasons, at the receiving end of a record defeat, by five or six. Keeping it at 3-0 and at the very least restoring some respectability was all that mattered to me now.

Nothing was said by the players as we returned to the dressing room. A mythical 15 minutes in the Liverpool legend was upon us, but it didn't feel that way. The trickiest test in such circumstances is ensuring you don't give up. It would have been easy for us to accept our ambitions were in tatters, that nine months of toil were going to end in catastrophe. Mentally we were all over the place, but I knew it wasn't in my nature to accept this fate. No matter how bad it was, we were going to have to face up to our responsibilities. Fortunately, there was at least one sane head in the room prepared to restore our battered spirits. In that Ataturk dressing room Rafa Benitez cemented his place in Anfield folklore.

My admiration for his handling of the situation is unlimited. Rafa's conduct rarely changed, regardless of the circumstances. His calm demeanour was never required more than now. Privately, he must have felt the same as us. He too couldn't have failed to think about his family, or what the people of Spain would be making of his side's battering. Here he was, still struggling with his English, trying to instruct us to achieve the impossible. "Good luck," I thought to myself. He showed few signs of emotion as he explained his changes, but the speed with which he made a series of tactical switches showed how sharp he still was.

First, he told Traore to get into the shower. That was the polite code for telling a player he's being subbed. Djibril Cisse was told he'd be coming on to play on the right side and was already getting kitted out. As Djimi removed his shirt, an argument was brewing between Steve Finnan and our physio Dave Galley. Finnan had damaged a groin and Dave told Rafa he thought he should be subbed. Finn was distraught and pleaded to stay on. Rafa wouldn't budge. "We've only two subs left because we've already lost Kewell with an injury," he explained. "I can't afford to make two now, and if you stay on I've lost my last sub." Traore was told to put his kit back on. Then, as if struck by a moment of clarity, Benitez made an abrupt decision.

"Hamann will replace Finnan and we'll play 3-5-2," he explained, displaying an assured conviction in his voice which, temporarily at least, gave me confidence. "Pirlo is running the game from midfield, so I want Luis and Stevie to play around him and outnumber them in the middle so he can't pass the ball." The swiftness of this decision confirmed to me he may have considered this formation earlier. The same set-up had worked in Turin, although that had been a purely defensive strategy. "OK," part of me was thinking, "forty-five minutes too late, but we got there in the end." Given the circumstances, it was still a brave move. With both Cisse and Hamann now preparing to come on, there was only one problem. "Rafa, I think we've 12 players out there now." Djibril would have to wait a while longer for his introduction.

When we emerged from our desolate dressing room, I wasn't encouraged by the look of steely determination on the face of Maldini as he led his side back out. There were claims after the match of premature celebrations in the Milan camp at half-time. I was upset on their behalf by that pack of lies. Traore gave an interview after the game suggesting the Italians were cocky at 3-0, but I think he was naive in his answers and it was twirled into a fairy story by the newspapers. It simply didn't happen. Milan were far too professional for that. There was no way their captain, with all his experience, was going to allow anyone in his dressing room to take victory for granted. Nothing I saw suggested Milan were already popping champagne. I have too much respect for them even to suggest it. Even if they did, privately, believe they had both hands on the cup, who could blame them?

As I headed back into the arena, I was sure Milan were going to win, so were the forty thousand Scousers in Istanbul, so why shouldn't they have believed it? I could hear "You'll Never Walk Alone" in the distance, and as I exited the tunnel it grew louder. It wasn't the usual version of our anthem, though. There are different moments when The Kop summons Gerry Marsden's classic. Before every home game it's a deafening rallying cry, as if to inspire us to perform and frighten our opponents into submission. If we're winning in the closing stages of a huge match, it will be sung again, this time in celebration. But there are other occasions the words of the song have greater meaning, and at half-time in Istanbul the fans were singing it in sympathy more than belief. There was a slow, sad sound to it, almost as if it was being sung as a hymn.

The fans were certainly praying on our behalf. To me, it was the supporters' way of saying, "We're still proud of what you've done, we're still with you, so don't let your heads drop." There was probably a hint of a warning in there too, as the walk back to my position felt like a guilt trip: "Don't let us down any more than you already have." Our coach Alex Miller's final instructions at half time were for us to "score a goal for those fans". That was the mindset we had. Get one and pride might be restored.

we all know what happend later on didn't we.
As our song goes: " Walk on, Walk on, with hopes in your heart, you'll never walk alone"

OK, this just me more convinced then ever that i need to be at Anfield for 1 liverpool match during my life time. Any reds interested? Let's work something out :)


cheers,
RT